I'm in love with my bestfriend, he reject me twice, and we are still best friend until now.

He is my friend from junior high school. We always in the same class until we graduated from high school. I feel something ingruited in the first time I met him, and I cant forgot how foolish when I call him shortie when he was sitting and I was stand up. I felt so wrong when he stand up and I said sorry to him.

I dont remember when we started become closer. The thing I remember the most is his table is in front of me on the 3rd class of junior high. We often studied together in the class when there was no teacher and the others was playing in the class. He move his chair and sit to face me, he really have strong desire to study, but sometimes he lost when the teacher teach us, so he often ask me back after class. All of my classmates often tease us as couple, but we always give it off. We was happy as we were.

When he know we are on same class again in 1st year of senior high, he settled his seat in front of me again. I felt so happy and I start to think him as someone special. My girl friends told me that I must tell him that I like him. After some months I cant think straight and I write him a love letter and place it in his backpack. The next day, without saying anything he change his seat with the other guy. He leave me. My heart were really broken. I felt so wrong with that letter. I must not write it from the first place. Now I lost my best friend. But he really a good guy, after he move from his seat, he still talk to me as friend and didnt hate me. He really just moved and gave some distance between us, so I know that we only friend, no more.

On the second year of high school, we got same class again, but I know after the love letter, he will never sit in front of me again. Lucky me, one of our junior ask us to join an afterschool course at the downtown. He ask me if I want to join in, he told me that my best friend also want to join in. Honestly I dont care about my best friend anymore, I just want to join the course, so I joined the course. On the first month, my dad or big bro always sent me and pick me up to and from the course. I really active at the course, and I got my best friend again. Sometimes he pick me or sent me back home from course. Our friendship is better on that year, as I also clear my mind that he is my best friend.

After we started the third year of senior high, we are still best friend. We were searching scholarship together to go to university.We often back home late because of it. We also went to next city close to ours to take the test together with our another friends. Our friendship deepen because of it, we really fulll of dreams in those times. But he didn't have a luck to go to university, he was not accepted in any university, while I was accepted in an univerisity at the next city.

In the university I was focusing my self in study and searching many experience to reach my dreams. I really forgot about him, but sometimes we still contact each other with our another classmates. Sometime when I back to my city we also meet up with the others, we dont want to lose contact with our schoolmates. In my 2nd year in university my mom want to match me with someone from my city. I really dont care about my love line at all in those time, so I accept what my mom said. I just let it flow as I also still burning to reach my dreams.

I got my job dream before I graduate from university, and I'm happy with it. After I graduate, I ask my mom about the one she want to match with me, but shockingly, the man already have another woman and want to married soon. So, I dont have anyone to love those time. Because I still keep contact with my friends in those times, I can meet up with them to clear my mind and live happily.

One time, my company sent me to another city far from my city. I must move there for some months, so I cant met my family and friends at all on those time. After some months I felt feed up there, my assigment was pile up and I felt so loneny. I want to resign from my company. I dont know why, I called him and I told him about how feed up I am. I was crying on the phone. Then he said many good things that make my heart better. I felt how great he is. I know he is one of my best friends after all. But in that phone call I made a great mistake. I told him that I like him, I need him. He cant answer me clearly. How can he answer that stupid question again after some years he clearly reject me. But he really a great guy after all. He told me that he think me as one of his best friend, no more than it. He also promise me that he still will be my best friend. The way he explain it to me really careful trying to not break my heart. He can change this sad topic to another topic smoothly, at the end of call we were laughing because of something else. After the call I felt my heart was very light and warm. I felt so sad but also happy.

When I back to my city, I really scared to met him. But he asked me to go to a cafe with him, only me and him, and I accepted it. When I met him, I gave him some gift from another city, I felt some awkward moment at first, but then he can start the topic and talking a long way without any uneasy feeling. Then he said sorry about 'those' thing that he can't fulfill to me. I said it's okay, as we still can be friend like this. I also said sorry that I'm the one who always made 'those' moment happened. He said okay, then we also talked about our school year when I did 'those' thing for the first time. He remember it so well, It made me really shy, how can he still remember it. Then we were talking about any other school memories that made us laugh again and made anything clear. He sent me back home with smile, and I also made my mind clear that we just friend.

After a year, this time he was the one who go to another city for a month and half for his dream job. I went to train station to sent him away and gave him a gift to make him more spirited to reach his dream. He said so happy that I came and give him a gift. When he back to our city, he ask me to eating out again just two of us. He gave me a small bag as gift. I was so happy, he remember me. He told me about his experience there, he looked so happy. we were talking until the closed time of the cafe.

A month ago I finally can reach my biggest dream to go to Japan. Before I leave, He ask me to buy something he want, when I'm in Japan, I easily just okay him. But fool me, I forgot to buy him his request. I just really enjoy my trip in Japan fully for myself. When I back I just remember that I forgot to buy the thing he want. I just bought him some other small gifts.

He ask me to eat again after I back to my city. I gave him the gift I bought for him, but sorry to forget his request. He said okay and he still smile. He want to listen my story about japan and slice of arashi. He really enthusiastic about my story. He told me, that he can know many things that he dont know before because of me. We talking happily until we back and he sent me home.

Now we still friend and I am happy with it.
  • Current Music
    Shiro ga mau
  • Tags

Friendzoned

It's easy for you to ask me to help you.
It's easy for you to keep being my friend.
It's easy for you to forget my feeling.

But it's not happen to me.

It's hard to look at you.
It's hard to chat with you.
It's hard to keep my heartbeat normal with you.
It's hard to breath beside of you.
It's really hard to change this feeling for you.

I know this is my problem, not yours.
But you is the source of this complicated life of mine.
That why I choose to move away from you.

I've try my best to keep calm in front of you.
I've try my best to be your normal friend.
I've try my best to forget this feeling .
But nothing change from me.
It's really hard.

I still cry behind my smile.
I still cry when you text me as friend.
My heart still cringe  when I saw you.

But dont worry.
I still try my best to be your friend.
Yes, your friend.
Your ordinary friend.
Your old friend.

I wont to talk about this feeling anymore with you.
I will keep it buried in my heart.
I will try my best to let this 13 years feeling disappear.

Because I don't want to hurt you.


________________________

I'm in a monochrome world again today But still, I seek the light at the end of the tunnel
My feet are stained white They melt with each step I take
Yes But still My heart remains frozen
  • Current Music
    Arashi - Pray
  • Tags

Don't break my pace or you cant get what you want from me

I really hate it when someone call and break my pace when I focusing something. If you need my cooperation, please cooperate with what I need. Escpecially when I do my work, and you suddenly jump in and talking non stop without knowing what I do now. I reallly hate it. That why I always use both of my earphones, so you cant distrub me, so I can do my job well. If you distrub once in the bad time, it can make my mood bad all day, and make me hate you.

I know we both need each other in our job. But please know me more, as I try to cooperate with your lousy work (so I must do more work for you). I love my job, so please dont make me think to work on another company because of you. I really think to move to another city many times, as they will give me more money. But I keep on this company because I dont want this company colapse because I leave (I dont want to burden another staff), because I handle some big projects.

So please don't break my pace or you cant get what you want from me.
  • Current Mood
    annoyed annoyed
  • Tags

Concern of Nino health

Honestly, I think nino really tired lately...
as we know from Mikan PV and making, he doesnt move much. Then from his magazine photos, I feel some of them looks really tired. then when I watch "Doors" PV preview and pazudora CM "Now and Never" preview, I really believe he really tired. his bratty, cool and bad boy feel is not as great as before.

I think that because he must be busy with his movie promotion, arashi album & single shooting, then practing for the concert and of course arashi bangumi, and nino-san and baystorm. I hope his body is okay.

This is when I think he need workout in daily basis. But for now, I think he need more rest, because I cant see his smile at all. I know he is smile and laughing, but I believe that is not from his heart, that just act. I need him smiling brightly again.

I love you Nino... <3

Song For You Dream Musical Stage Story

I listened "Song for you" more than 6 times (an hour past without knowing) and I think I'm in love with this song. I really hope Arashi sing it in musical performance in the concert, cause I believe it will be great. <3

After I read the lyric, I got some ideas about the story of the of the musical in my mind.
Click this for Arashi - Song For You Lyric (Kanji/Romanji/Translate)

Stage : In the middle of the stage is small peacefull town(with many many stall shop), a harbour in the right side, and a road from forest in the left.

Character:
Ohno : Normal people from this town. He use normal town clothes
Aiba & Nino : adventurer friends who searching a town that they can life in. They use pirates clothes.
Jun & Sho : travelers from another town which searching a new life in other town. They use traveler clothes and using backpacks when they come out from backstage.

[00:00]When the song start, the curtain up, showing a peacefull town, backdancers act like people of town, doing their activity.
[00:50]Ohno come out, greet the people.
[01:10]Ohno start singing.
[01:45]Ohno dance (with backdancer), to show the happiness and how peacefull the town.

[02:20]Nino and aiba come out from the ship in the harbour.
[02:30]Aiba & Nino sing like talking to each other about their joirney story while walking to the town.
[03:17]Then they talking with the people in the town (buying something). (backdancer dance in the front)

[03:30]Sho and Jun come from forest.
[04:05]They singing as talking to each other how great their adventure.
[04:40]Then they start thinking how great this town, that they can live in this town. this is the town they searching for.
[05:12]Then they running from shop to shop, and their eyes smile as they find what they need in this town. (backdancer dance in the front)

[05:31]Ohno come to the front and start singing, then
[05:38]Nino also singing and go to the front with aiba.
[05:42]Sho & jun also joining to the front and sing.
[06:00]They singing and dance together with happiness. how great this town is.
[06:30]They dance with backdancer
[07:40]Backdancer dissapear

[07:56]Jun singing with sho as they relieved that finally they find this town, and think of their hardship before.
[08:20]Aiba & nino also sing as they also remembered the hardship they have until now.
[08:38]Onho sing as ohno make them (nino, aiba, jun, sho) relieved finally they reach here.

[08:44]They sing as thankful that they finally can stand in this town.
[09:38]Look at audience with smile

[09:53]Then they singing together with relieved face, as they can start they live better from now on in this town, as their hardship was paid off.
[10:10]they sing as thank the audience.
[10:50]They still stand up and give the audience relieved smile.
[11:10]They bowing to audience (like the musical ended).
[11:29]The curtain down (the story end)


Ah mind, I really hope arashi make this musical.... <3

Arashi - Song For You (Kanji/Romanji/Translate)

Song for you
Lyricist:市川喜康
Composer:Simon Janlov・wonder note・Kevin Charge・Erik Lidbom・SHIROSE・山下康介

Note:
I just got the kanji lyric, The romanji and translate are from google translate with some correction. I please tell me if make wrong romanji/translation. :)

KANJI
[(kanji lyric)]
ありがとう 君といた すべての奇蹟に
同じ景色を 同じ想いを 抱きながら歩いてきた
いつの日も 僕ららしく Get Started
聞き慣れないネーミング 突然乗り込んだCruiser

まるでミステリー 展開の読めない期待とスリル
降りそそぐSunshine 眩しすぎるIsland
大海原を進め Just gotta do it

何はなくとも 僕らの前にはLove & Music
君と夢を乗せて

Shake it up 騒ぐハートが 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 Nip and tuck
高鳴るBloom of youth 誰にも止められない! ない!
彼方に煌めくSpotlight 憧れていた場所へ
覚悟はできてるぜ Dead or Alive
続編(はなし)はこれから

見上げる無数のバルーンが
都会の夜空を翔けてゆく
溢れる七色の涙で
明日を埋め尽くすように

新しいページを開いてゆこう
動き出した夢の、もっともっと先へと

出逢うべくして出逢い
感じるべくして感じた Wonders!
まだまだ物語の途中さ Yes

君と放つMelody
響きわたれ高く 遥か高く
加速する未来へ
繋いでゆこうよ 信じるままに

そして、もう一度 降り立ったこの楽園(しま)で
思い出したよ 僕らに刻まれた
ただひとつ変わらない 大事な合言葉

忘れない いつも 'You are my soul'
届けたい ずっと 'You are my soul'

For your happiness どんな試練も
思わぬ向かい風の中も
きっと一緒なら挑めるはず Ready go

出逢うべくして出逢い
感じるべくして感じた Wonders!
まだまだ物語の途中さ Yes

君と放つMelody
響きわたれ高く 遥か高く
加速する未来へ
繋いでゆこうよ 最高のFinale

振り返れば くねりながら 遠く続く足跡
途切れずに 誰も離れずに
今日まで僕らが辿った季節

目を閉じればそこに 聴こえてくる やわらかなYell
果てない願いを カナシミをつつみ込んで
やさしく背中を押す

どこまでも どこまでも 旅は続いてく
大海原に Ah描いた夢を 君に見せるその瞬間(とき)まで
これからも 僕ららしく 笑って

離れていようとも 変わらないヒカリが
夜空を超えて 時空を超えて
震える心を結んでいる

This song for you

ありがとう 君といた すべての奇蹟に
同じ景色を 同じ想いを 抱きながら歩いてゆこう
いつの日も 僕ららしく be with you

新しいNovelの 真っ白なページに
どんな希望を どんな自由を
僕らは書き記してゆくのだろう
Ah 限りない時間(とき)の向こうへ
連れてゆくよ This song for you

ROMANJI
[(romanji lyric)]
Arigatō kimi toita  subete no kiseki ni
Onaji keshiki o onaji omoi o
Dakinagara aruite kita
Itsu no hi mo bokura rashiku
Get Started

Kiki narenai nēmingu totsuzen  norikonda cruizer
Marude misuterī tenkai no yomenai kitai to suriru
furisosogu sunshine mabushi sugiru Island
Ounabara o susume Just gotta  do it


nani wa nakutomo bokura no mae ni wa Love & Music
kimi to yume  o nosete

Shake it up sawagu hāto ga 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 Nip ando tuck
takanaru Bloom of youth darenimo tomerarenai! Nai!
Kanata ni kirameku  Spotlight akogarete ita basho e
kakugo wa deki teru ze Dead or Alive
hanashi wa korekara

we contiue to dance
we contiue to sing

miageru musū no barūn ga
tokai no yozora o  kakete yuku
afureru nanairo no namida de
ashita o ume tsukusu yō ni

atarashī pēji o aite yukou
ugokidashita yume no, motto motto saki e to

deaubeku shite deai
kanjirubeku shite kanjita Wonders!
Madamada  monogatari no tochū sa Yes

kimi to hanatsu Melody
hibikiwatare takaku  haruka takaku
kasoku suru mirai e
tsunaide yukou yo shinjiru mama ni

soshite, mōichido oritatta kono shima de
omoidashita yo bokura  ni kizama reta
tada hitotsu kawaranai daijina ai kotoba

wasurenai itsumo 'You are my soul'
todoketai zutto' You are my soul'

For your happiness donna shiren mo
omowanu mukaikaze no  naka mo
kitto isshonara nozomeru hazu ready go

deaubeku shite deai
kanjirubeku shite kanjita Wonders!
Madamada monogatari no tochū sa Yes

kimi to hanatsu Melody
hibikiwatare takaku haruka takaku
kasoku suru  mirai e
tsunaide yukou yo saikō no Final

Furikaereba kunerinagara tōku  tsudzuku ashiato
togirezu ni dare mo hanarezu ni
kyōmade bokura ga  tadotta kisetsu

me o tojireba soko ni kikoete kuru yawaraka na Yell
hatenai negai o kanashimi o tsutsumi konde
yasashiku senaka o osu

doko  made mo doko made mo tabi wa tsudzuite ku
O unabara ni Ah kaita yume o  kimi ni miseru
sono toki made korekara mo bokurarashiku  waratte

hanarete iyoutomo kawaranai Hikari ga
yozora o koete jikū o  koete
furueru kokoro o musunde iru

This song for you

Arigatō kimi toita  subete no kiseki ni
onaji keshiki o onaji omoi o dakinagara aruite yukou
itsu no hi mo bokurarashiku Be with you

atarashī Novel no masshirona  pēji ni
don'na kibō o don'na jiyū o
bokura wa kakishirushite yuku nodarou
Ah kagirinai Toki no mukō e
tsurete yuku yo this song for you


Translate
[(lyric translation)]
Thank you for all miracles with you
I walked while holding the same feelings with the same scenery
Get Started for us someday as us

Unfamiliar naming suddenly boarded Cruiser
It's as if you could not read the mystery
Descending Sunshine Dazzling Island
Just gotta do it

Anything in front of us is Love & Music
Take a dream with you

Shake it up noisy heart 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 Nip and tuck
Bloom of youth I can not stop it! No!
Spotlight sparkling beyond Where I was longing
I am prepared for it Dead or Alive
The story is coming now

Numerous balloons looking up
I will go to the urban night sky
With the overflowing seven colors tears
To fill up tomorrow

Let's open a new page
Dream of a moving dream, go ahead
Encounter to meet you
I felt like I felt Wonders!
Story of the story is still yes Yes

Melody to release with you
Reverberation high and far expensive
To the future to accelerate
Let's connect and let's believe

And in this paradise that I got off again
I remembered that we were engraved
The only important word that remains unchanged

I will never forget 'You are my soul'
I want to deliver forever 'You are my soul'
For your happiness
Inside the unexpected head wind
I'm sure we will challenge together Ready go

Encounter to meet you
I felt like I felt Wonders!
Story of the story is still yes Yes

Melody to release with you
Reverberation high and far expensive
To the future to accelerate
Let's connect and be the best Finale

Footprints that continue distant while turning around
Without leaving anyone without interruption
The season we followed

If you close your eyes there will be a soft Yell to hear there
Incorporating wishes that can not be wrapped with kindness
Gently press the back

The journey continues wherever and wherever
Until that moment when that shows you the dreams that Ah drawn in the ocean
From now on laughing like us

Light that does not change even if you are away
Beyond the night sky and beyond the spacetime
I have trembling hearts

This song for you

Thank you for all miracles with you
Let's walk with embracing the same view the same view
We always have us as a day

On the new white page of the Novel
What hope and what freedom
We will write down
Ah beyond the limitless time
I will take you this song for you

Arashi "Untitled" Album Unit Songs Impression

After I listen some part of their song, this is my impression of their unit song.

UB - Nino & Aiba
Calming song, I love this type of song, nino voice really won this time, and aiba voice really friendly here and there. I love to play it every morning to make day brighter. I hope Nino also have duet song like this with ohchan, I think it will be more magestic. (gomen my ohmiya lover comeout)

Yoru no kage - Nino & Ohno & Jun
SEXY.... that is the first word that I say when I hear this song. And I really love that the song started with nino voice, really make my heart melt. I love this triple. their voice help each other became richer. This song really make me wanna watch their sexy performance, their killer eyes and their sexy moves. Kyaaa.... I cant wait their sing it in the concert.

Comeback - Jun & Sho
The song come out like what I think. Rap and night song. I just think of night club of this song. Dont impress me much, as I ever watch their duet on arafest when jun DJ-ing and Sho Rapping.

Bazuri night  - Sho & Aiba & Ohno
Game center song. lol. Really they just wanna have fun with this song. Make me remember of Ohmiya SK song, just have fun here and there. I love ohchan voice, but I think I can get it here, he just have fun with sakuraiba. But I think this will be great song on the concert.


And for the other song (sugar, green light, kanpai song):
All of it is active song, I'll play it if my mood is good. It will be fun on the concert. but honestly I want more ballad song.

Don't be troubled by Complexity

"There are some people who want to have more handsome face or want to have taller body. I don’t need them at all, because I don’t need neither of them to live, they are not the absolute condition to live a happy life, aren’t they? On the contrary, it’s how to live with the complexity. But I think our surrounding environment set too high standard for us, that is why everyone is too hard on themselves. Regardless that my physical strength below average, as long as I can work with healthy body, I think it’s enough. If we can think that lightly, there’s no way for us to feel trouble by the complexity."

- Ninomiya Kazunari -

IT Magazine 107 Edition.
Translation by yun_miyake with some cut.